Yves Brown McClain: Literary Fierceness

Gotta have Girlfriends

Posted by Dahlia on August 1, 2011

I’ve got a ton of associates, just as many colleagues, and people I know that I think are generally good folks. Friends, specifically female ones, I can count on one hand. I’m talking about those real, true girlfriends that always has your back and will ride with you no matter what. Some you’ve been friends with since diapers. Some you met somewhere along the course of growing up, either in the sandbox, first day of school, sitting next to you in homeroom. Others you met in college. You sat behind her during freshman orientation. Perhaps she was the roommate that didn’t set your suite on fire (yes, this happened to me). Maybe you met her during that dreadful summer internship at XYZ Corporation the summer before junior year. Still, there are some you don’t connect with until your adult years, be it at work, church, the beauty salon, a networking event, et cetera.
I believe that the “girlfriend” relationship – that close bond with another female is a very significant one. A key relationship in life. True, some women don’t want to be bothered with female friends. Why? Because some women can get overly emotional, sometimes petty, and in some instances just flat out nasty. Just watch any reality show with a predominantly female cast. And in order to avoid the foolishness and dramatics, it can be easier just to have platonic male friends. But, still for most of us, we need girlfriends. That relationship is as important as the romantic one or the family one.
Think of the TV shows that celebrate and embrace the Girlfriend relationship: Girlfriends, Sex & The City, Single Ladies, Desperate Housewives, Laverne & Shirley, Kate & Allie (yeah, I went in the Way Back Machine for those last two). Or the books with strong female friendships, such as Misty & Reesy from Lolita Files’s Scenes From a Sistah, Getting to The Good Part, and Tastes Like Chicken. Or Savannah, Bernadine, Gloria, and Robin — the women from Terry McMillan’s Waiting To Exhale & Getting to Happy. Those are just a few examples of fictional girlfriends. And for the most part, those relationships are pretty solid, just like real-life friendships.

So, in celebration of the BFF, below is my little list of reasons why you need at least one Girlfriend in your life:
1. She’ll tell you those shoes are kick-ass and you need to buy them. Like now. Raht now. Same goes for that Coach bag.
2. She’ll cheer you on when that idea/dream/aspiration you’ve been pursuing makes you want to not just throw in the towel, but throw the damn thing out.
3. She’ll help you escape when dude with the ecru-hued teeth and breath from the pits of Hell gets all up in your personal space.
4. She understands that your manager is Satan’s mistress.
5. She’ll let you cry, vent, whine, whatever. You don’t have to “suck it up” with her.
6. She shows up at your house with the vodka, martini mix, and shaker when that date/day at work/ relationship has gone totally and completely wrong.
7. She holds your hair when you’ve overdone it on the vodka and martini mix.
8. So, Beaches, Steel Magnolias, AND A League of Their Own are on TV? Not only is she game, she’s bringing the cheesecake.
9. She thinks it is completely normal to eat an entire half-sheet of birthday cake by yourself. Matter of fact, she’ll grab a fork and take half.
10. Despite what that family member said about your lack of direction/husband/children/career, she always thinks you rock.

These are just a few reasons. I know there are more. What are your reasons that girlfriends are important? Why is the girlfriend in your life so important? What is it about her that makes you say that she’s more than a friend, she’s your sister?


12 Responses to “Gotta have Girlfriends”

  1. Lydia K said

    I love your list! I don’t know what I’d do without my girlfriends. I’d be a mess!

  2. Mike said

    I agree with everything that you say here. Girls are so much more social and so much more supportive than boys.

  3. Yolanda said

    For me, it has been really hard to have close girlfriends because of some really jacked up stuff that’s happened over the last 9 years. I’ve lost the ability to trust other people, so I’m finding it hard to let people in. However, I still do crave the closesess, love, fun and trust of a good girlfriend or two. I do see the importance. Especially when I’m in the mood for a girls’ night and have no one to hang with.

    • And that’s hurtful. I’m sure most women at one time or another have a really close friendship with another female that just fell apart for a number of reasons. I’ve got people that I was really close to that the relationship either just ended or we started talking again, and it just wasn’t the same.

  4. Great post. My best friend helps me make sense of things even when I don’t make sense to myself. She’s known me for a long time. She’s got context.

    Yolanda, I hope you find a good and trustworthy woman to be your close friend. Like Yves says, sometimes it just doesn’t work out and that truly sucks.

    • Thanks Elizabeth, for the comment. That’s great when you have a lifelong friend like that. However, some relationships (friendship or otherwise) or only in place for a season to serve a particular purpose. Sometimes, we can have a hard time telling the difference between the season friends and the lifetime ones…

  5. […] Fine and Reesy Snowden can easily be the replacement to the void left behind by Girlfriends.(see Gotta Have Girlfriends). However, this show would need to make its home on either HBO or Showtime. Network TV and basic […]

  6. So, so true. My friends are great for a)cheering me on whenever I start to doubt and b)reminding me that sometimes the best fun can be had by eating large quantities of calorie laden food and staying up for a Grey’s Anatomy marathon.

    ❤ Gina Blechman

  7. Love your list!

    Girlfriends are also needed for venting sessions. She’s there just to listen until you climb down off the soapbox. She won’t jump in offering advice, but knows when you really want direction or just want an ear.

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